3781: Tahoe 200

​ This thought or feeling came to me as I rode my bike across country( SF, Ca to Yorktown, Va) with no experience and just pure athletic ability and determination for 60 days. In the long miles on the bike, came a lot of time to self reflect and in those moments I began to explore the idea about “my body”. Everyday I punched the clock and my body responded. Mornings would start out achy and I would say to myself, just get through this first hour and then the machine will take over. Minute by minute my body would begin to wake up and I knew come that hour mark it would be the machine’s ride.  Fuel the body and it will respond like a machine. As the days ticked by I began to feel like I could do anything if I stayed in shape and let the machine come alive. Maybe that’s why I am here. I am looking for something that connects me to this earth and let’s me share my machine. Constant grind, constant moment. Of course there will be low days, hours, minutes, seconds but it’s time and I hav...

​ I get it, this doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes I can feel this disconnect between me and my thoughts, it’s like this drumming sound that beats within me and I don’t know how to turn it off. I am not sure these thoughts are even my own and wonder if they are some sort of beacon home.  Every time I have engaged them I feel at home with my life. It’s like if I don’t acknowledge these ideas they begin to haunt me.  I am not sure what this means but I think there is something to be learned here.  Maybe it’s just me “shaking my fist” at life in a moment of glory, as my mom said in her valedictorian speech.  I can see the Journey of the Tahoe 200 and look forward to the miles between start to finish because that’s where the true sense of being lies. 

​ I have thought about getting into running for sometime, but the thought was always 26.2 is not long enough. It’s not that there wouldn’t be suffering in those miles, it just wasn’t the soul questioning suffering I was looking for. Enter 2017 where the seed was planted that people were running 200 miles around Lake Tahoe.  As we would make trips to Tahoe, I would look around the lake and think, what if I could do the Tahoe 200. The feeling of accomplishing something so mind boggling in my own backyard gave me the fuel. I want the feeling I get whenever we I drive  near any of the places I rode my bike xc or down the Pacific Coast.  The thought has remained in me like some sick twisted mantra, what if I could become someone who could complete the Tahoe 200?!  The days are drawing near and soon I will write out the training plan I have been creating in my head since 2017. February is the kickoff month. Let’s see. Let’s see. 

​ I love the feeling of this enormous task and the overwhelming feelings it places in my mind and even more so in the minds of others. I have to make friends with the doubt, fear of the dark, boredom of the long miles and what lurks. I know what the Tahoe 200 wants from me and I will bring these sacrifices to the alter to appease the gods. I am not there yet, but mind is spinning every second about this and that will be one of my great offerings. The journey continues and the sacrifices will become greater. 

​ I’ve always had this thought of a fire inside of me that burns and wishing I could show people how great it can burn. Maybe that’s what draws me to do these things I do. Maybe it’s where I draw my strength from or maybe it’s just something I’ve self created to rationalize my ways. I don’t believe that’s it, this fire rages and some times it can feel small but when I lean into it great things alway seem to happen and I feel unstoppable.  2022 this fire will RAGE. 

It seems like most mornings a thought creeps into my head that the end is closer than we all think and to enjoy these moments. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told Ashley we should just quit our jobs because our time is so precious and I want you to have as much of it as possible. I may have drove her crazy with these constant thoughts. It’s an overwhelming thought and experience for me. Maybe this is why I do these types of things. Constantly looking for a church to test my limits and squeeze everything I can out of this life. Let us pray. 

This is just a reminder of the challenges to come along this journey. Right now I am not allowing myself to be phased by the enormity of the Tahoe 200, even though my mind likes to wonder there. It’s still early and of course I’m not an ultra runner just yet. I’m not worried about whether or not I possess the fitness ability, I can get myself to that point. The mind. That is the process I need to crack. 

I am not an ultra runner at the time of this post. Can’t be the same person if I am going to become a Tahoe 200 finisher. My body feels strong, with some aches, but that is a given. The most important thing is to get my mind to become one of an ultra runner. With time and constant chipping away an ultra runner will be revealed. The process has begun.

 This is a message from the past to Kyrie and Mia, so you may know the endless possibilities of life. It is not meant to inspire but to remind you of what’s in embedded in your own DNA. I am you and you are me. This is the call to adventure. Tahoe 200 2022 awaits. We begin